The Wisdom of Self Reflection & Self Skepticism

by | Dec 28, 2023

The close of a calendar year and the start of a new one is a wonderful time for self-reflection. It’s an opportunity to look back, to see where you have grown and changed–or where you have digressed. A new year is also a great time to analyze where you are currently, to perform a life audit if you will. This is a helpful practice throughout the year, but especially when preparing to flip the calendar. And there is much wisdom in this kind of reflection. Consider the emphasis the poet-king Solomon places on the value of taking the time to audit, analyze, and reflect.

His admonitions are over 3,000 years old. 

Solomon writes, “Ponder the path of your feet, then all your ways will be sure” (Proverbs 4:26). He adds, “The wisdom of the prudent is to discern his way” (Pr 14:8) and “The prudent gives thought to his steps” (Pr 14:15). To ponder is a mental exercise. We have to stop and give intentional thought to the trajectory of our lives. And prudence has to do with the manner in which we do things and make decisions. It’s the idea of being sensible and appropriate for the moment. Prudence is about living strategically–having a vision and plan for your life and then taking the actual steps to get there. 

In terms of discernment, an often-connected concept with wisdom in Scripture, Solomon writes, “The discerning sets his face toward wisdom” (Pr 17:24). Hear the directional language? To discern is to parse something into its aggregate parts in order to understand it. It’s to have insight into someone or some situation, knowing the difference between right and wrong, good, better, or best. Again, this is an intentional, mental exercise. The poet then describes someone who is “upright” as one who “gives thought to his ways” (Pr 21:29). Throughout the book of Proverbs Solomon gives us some examples of what this might look like. 

In Proverbs 6, Solomon exhorts the “sluggard” to go study the behavior of ants, yes, those pesky little critters that sneak into our homes and ruin our picnics. He says to “consider her ways, and be wise” (v. 6). Again, to consider is an intentional, mental exercise. What was wise about the ant? Well, the poet remarks how ants, who don’t have any managers or supervisors, still manage to work diligently and efficiently, recognizing that their self-motivated hard work will pay off in the end. So we would do well to take some time to consider this example from nature as well. 

Solomon offers another example of what it means to give thought to our ways with the following human interest story in Proverbs 24. “I passed by the field of a sluggard, by the vineyard of a man lacking sense, and behold, it was all overgrown with thorns; the ground was covered with nettles, and its stone wall was broken down. Then I saw and considered it; I looked and received instruction. A little sleep, a little slumber, a little folding of the hands to rest, and poverty will come upon you like a robber, and want like an armed man” (vv. 30-34). At what point was wisdom gained and instruction received from this scenario? It wasn’t until the one walking by intentionally stopped, looked, observed, and then considered what had taken place. What was once a lush and productive vineyard was now overgrown and rundown. Of course this could’ve taken place because of a tragedy like an earthquake or the sudden death of the caretaker. But most likely, this broken state of the operations took place little by little over time. A little neglect here. A little neglect there. Justification here. Procrastination there.

A minor break not repaired turned into major destruction. 

It’s interesting that the poet describes this as the evidence of one “lacking sense” and being lazy. Within a mile radius of where you live, you can most likely find an abandoned house or building, or at least a field all overgrown with weeds and kudzu. Once thriving and flourishing–now lifeless. When we observe such situations, it’s not a cause to cast judgment. But rather, this is another opportunity to observe and consider so that we might gain perspective, understanding, and wisdom. 

Solomon provides another anecdote to emphasize the wisdom of taking time to evaluate and analyze. In Proverbs 27 he exhorts readers to, “Know well the condition of your flocks, and give attention to your herds” (v. 23). Why? Well, in this context he talks about economic conditions. He talks about new grass growing on the mountains and the lambs and goats eating that grass so that they in turn will produce wool for clothing and milk for food. They wouldn’t have food and clothes in perpetuity without the careful attention they had to give to this process. The poet even says, “Riches do not last forever; and does a crown endure to all generations?” (v. 24). In other words, we have to be aware of and give attention to ensuring our families are provided for and wealth is passed on from generation to generation. This will not happen naturally. 

Constant self reflection is vital to the cultivation of wisdom, not just when a new year begins. This needs to be a regular rhythm of our lives. But so should, what I call, self skepticism. Even with our best reflection, analysis, and evaluation, we can get things wrong. Our perspectives and experience are limited. We have blindspots. Our pride and self confidence can often get in the way. Solomon reminds us that, “Before destruction, a man’s heart is haughty” (Pr 18:12). He then warns us to not, “boast about tomorrow, for you do not know what a day may bring” (Pr 27:1). This shouldn’t prohibit planning and envisioning our future. But it should prohibit us from being overly confident about it. Solomon adds that, “all the ways of a man are pure in his own eyes, but the LORD weighs the spirit” (Pr 16:2) and “every way of a man is right in his own eyes” (Pr 21:2). “How then can man understand his way?” (Pr 20:24). Do you see the limitations here? This is why the poet strongly exhorts us to “not lean on your own understanding” and to not be “wise in your own eyes” (Pr 3:5, 7). Rather, we are to trust in God. 

So what is one of the best, most effective ways to minimize these limitations so that we can properly reflect and evaluate? One of the best ways to keep our own understanding in check is to bring others into the equation. Our dreams and plans often fail, or never get off the ground, because we never brought others into the process. Listen to these passages from Proverbs: “Without counsel plans fail, but with many advisers they succeed” (Pr 15:22); “Where there is no guidance, a people falls, but in an abundance of counselors there is safety” (Pr 11:14); “With those who take advice is wisdom” (Pr 13:10); “A wise man listens to advice” (Pr 12:15); “Listen to advice and accept instruction, that you may gain wisdom in the future” (Pr 19:20); “Plans are established by counsel; by wise guidance wage war” (Pr 20:18); “For by wise guidance you can wage your war, and in abundance of counselors there is victory” (Pr 24:6); “The ear that listens to life-giving reproof will dwell among the wise” (Pr 15:31); “The sweetness of a friend comes from his earnest counsel” (Pr 27:9); “Iron sharpens iron, and one man sharpens another” (Pr 27:17); “Whoever walks with the wise becomes wise” (Pr 13:20). 

There are even more passages than these that remind us of the importance of bringing others, especially those who are wise, into our decision-making process. This would include a spouse, if you are married, parents, trusted friends, financial advisors, accountants, attorneys, counselors, coaches, and other advisors. And this is just as needed if you are near the end of your career or even retired. The need for wise guidance never goes away and probably increases with time and experience. 

So do your planning and goal setting. Think about habits and behaviors and discipline. Spend time dreaming and cultivating vision. But as you do, demonstrate some humility by including others along the way. Yes, that takes time and coordination. But it’s worth the effort. Seeing around our blindspots is worth the effort. Minimizing our weaknesses is worth it. Having someone test our assumptions and push back on our biases is worth it. Listening to someone else’s perspective is worth it. Hearing other options is worth it. Value taking this time to audit, analyze, and reflect. But be skeptical of your own ability to do so. Bring others into the process and trust God’s infinite wisdom and control. And in the end? Enjoy the results!  

Dr. Bobo Beck

 

[For more of Bobo’s content, including his Wisdom Calling devotional series, go to www.wisdomcalling.org]